I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
