Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
it glows. i had to have it.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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