Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
