so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
