We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
