1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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