I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
how drunk are you?
Several
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
