Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
