i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Who wears a wallet chain?!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
pop tarts are not kleenex
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
