so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
