I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
