i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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