Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize