Pappa wants mamma naked
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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