The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
