Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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