Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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