I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
