Farmville is her only friend.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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