____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
