Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
