After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I could make wine with my vomit
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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