why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
