oh god the rape fog is back!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
