Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We are two peas in an std pod
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
