he puts the penis in happiness.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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