what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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