Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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