Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
