Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize