that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize