The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
