ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
4 words: hood of his car
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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