I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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