he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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