I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
