No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
