If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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