Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
MIDGETS
????
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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