I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Banned from zoo.
Again?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
