Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
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He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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