smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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