please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
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you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
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Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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