sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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