My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
