The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
no you cant smoke seaweed
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
