if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
