Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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