i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
