So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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