it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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