ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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