that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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