this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize