We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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