my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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