he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
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I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
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Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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