my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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