They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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