That's intense
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
