Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
