Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
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