I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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