Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
