don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
