its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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