There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
