I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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